no sir, i don't like it.

several things you will never see me do:

- turn the channel when man vs. wild is on
- turn the channel when hannah montana is on
- claim to be a real man (see hannah montana comment above)
- eat relish
- willingly listen to hip hop
- drop LSD in my eyelid
- praise nickelback
- utter nickelback's name without spitting immediately afterward
- set foot in delaware
- clip my cell phone to my waist
- tuck in a t-shirt
- willingly watch a james bond movie
- figure out why danny rose is so sexy
- finish the NY times crossword without raising both arms and taking a victory lap
- use the word "belly" without cringing
- drink merlot with mexican food
- finishing a killer joke without acquiring some high fives and a few "am i right???"s
- sit through a PG-13 horror movie again
- say the word "stroganoff" without giggling
- screen a phone call from vin diesel
- stop calling anyone and everyone dude
- stop aspiring to be "the dude"
- refuse a solid nickname, like T-Bone or The Enforcer
- play volleyball without trying to hurt someone
- get a killer clown tattoo
- beat murph at raquetball without informing the press
- send murph $8
- not laugh at serious insane clown posse fans
- not be ashamed of being a staind fan
- stop listening to staind
- be the first on my street to shovel the walk
- party like a rock star
- refuse to hang out
- own a mini van that doesn't have spinnahs and tinted windows
- stop quoting the juggernaut cartoon


git it:
"carolina", by andrew kinney and ben gibbard

watch:
the darjeeling limited

random hip hop gangster shout out to:
the soon-to-be doctor garrett mccandless. saving my prostate for you buddy.