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i apologize to those of you who are expecting a dale earnhart post (gone to race in a better place).

this post will at last dispell the notion that ben wygant is a skinny dude. this is me laying to rest all of the ghandi jokes, the offhanded comments from my father - "yer too skinny, boy" ("i consider you my third daughter", i read between the lines), and the looks of confused revulsion from the tailors at men's wearhouse ("these measurements can't be right... what kind of monster are you?" - tony the tailor). i'm 6'3". i tip the scales at a beefy 185. according to my college health professor, this is an average weight for a man of my height. due to my abnormally long appendages (i guarantee that this sentence will eventually render a joke from nate scott), my weight is distributed over a large area.

despite knowing for a fact that my weight is perectly healthy, i still have insecurities about my stature. why?


BECAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED THREE TIMES IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS:









that's right 3 toilet seats. 2 in my own house, 1 in my parent's house. i'm just sitting there tearing up some crosswords and then BAM, i'm fishing myself out of the toilet bowl.

i eat because i'm sad and i'm sad because i eat.




jam it:
"point me toward the morning", by the matches.

confessional:
the seeds are my favorite part of the popcorn bag. this pisses off my dentist something fierce.

hip hop gangster shoutout to:
the viruses/spyware on my computer. can't even tell you how much i appreciate those 15 popups per minute, fellas.