haHA!!! NOT TO SCALE!!!

this just in:
last night, i get a call from the hospital. it's a nurse... and i'm pretty sure it's name was alex. was alex a dude? a lady? you ever talk to someone on the phone and just know somehow that the person on the other end has a mustache? that happened. and yet, there was a twinge of femininity... somehow foundational, but so faint that it could almost be discredited. my gut told me it was a woman, but then i "heard" the mustache. i was baffled, and thus, couldn't concentrate. i was focusing so hard on the subtleties of her diction that i hardly followed the conversation. it sounded something like, "sir? (bristle bristle) sir? are you still there? (bristle bristle)" "...sounds like tom selleck... but... russian swimmer? hormone therapy? oh... yeah, i'm still here... alex...is? ...ander?"

then i remembered that i live in rehoboth beach and it all made sense. apparently they looked at the x-rays of my thumb again and they're pretty sure it's fractured further down the wrist. my manhood restored, i went and got myself a fresca and some cinnamon gum and watched the O.C. on soapnet.




watch:
sports night. the entire series. curse the networks for canceling the tv equivalent of the sistine chapel.