CUE THE FREAKING CHORUS OF ANGELS:
I know, right? I swear this little hunk of Chinese steel glowed when I opened the box (some assembly required). I wept openly as I gently screwed the hefty carriage bolts into the perfectly molded plastic wing nuts, wondering all the while if this is what God felt like when He so beautifully crafted the first Pop Tart. Empowered, enlightened, enveloped by a heavenly aura of excited sweat and packing peanuts, I stormed out of my house into a driving rainstorm followed closely by Mia, our canine house guest who happens to be the great-great-great grand daughter of one of Hitler's bitches. Determined to wield my new instrument of lawn and garden nad-kickery in spite of the inclement weather, I quickly chose a patch of particularly unruly yard-fro and proceeded to TEAR. IT. UP.
...until the second pass when I hit a gargantuan dog turd.
Day? Ruined.
Big ups to:
Marty Krider. You do your thang, girl.
Diggin' on:
Steve Kelly's newest ear candy, This Is A Standoff.
Confession:
I hate classic rock.
3 comments:
I'm currently working on a prototype that you might want to take a look at. This puppy is the mother of all lawn care equipment. I'm still working out the price and timeframe for obtaining the parts though. My Israeli contact is kinda shady. It's going to be powered by a General Electric T700 turbo shaft engine out of a decommissioned apache helicopter. I'm going to mount that baby in a 1992 dodge neon frame with a specially fabricated roll cage. Granted we'll have to extend the axles a few 10's of meters so the turning radius will suffer but that's ok. The blades will be fabricated from a wind turbine blade we're getting from the dutch. This bad boy will mow a lawn, and if you like it'll fly you to brazil. It's going to be the next big thing.
I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm mowing down giant sequoias with the intention of finding Bigfoot and stomping his face.
hilarious
Post a Comment